| sudden awareness, like a climax |
[Dec. 12th, 2009|03:29 am] |
Awareness builds and happens suddenly, like a climax.
I'm going to make this into a song someday.
Like a lot of other things. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 10th, 2009|07:27 am] |
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I think I'm hilarious. I only hang out with other people who think I'm hilarious. |
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| mel |
[Nov. 15th, 2009|01:54 pm] |
i found a letter i wrote back to a pen pal few years ago. if i hadnt put her name in the title i would never have remembered it:
'how arrogant could i be to say that means nothing to me?
quite arrogant, apparently, to make you think i wouldn't care. because i do.
youve taken my words to heart, and that means more to me than i could express with words at this point.
i've been living my life in constant motion... after reading what you wrote several times i'm starting to think. and think. and think. thinking is something i've been putting off lately.
the world is perfectly pieced in moments, moments where you feel alive, and the ocean you describe to me fills me with that moment.
the long curvy roads and the green hills at sunset, the shadows between streetlights, and the dimples in a face you lust for... those are the waves in my ocean.
can you feel our waves collide?
i've been sitting here staring at what i've written for a while.. i havent written anything in weeks. i'm not sure what to make of my life at this point. but im not sure i care, because you've brought back to me something that i had lost in distraction. it's this little motto i'd have in my head when i could feel myself slipping, or changing into something ugly:
change your thinking, change your world.
thank you, too.'
i sit here now wondering how in the hell i let myself loose touch with someone like her.
if i'll ever find her again in the sea of faces.
and if i'll still know what i was talking about. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 14th, 2009|08:56 am] |
just remember
i created all of this
and i can destroy it whenever the fuck i please. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 8th, 2009|02:38 am] |
My next tattoo will say I was a force of nature.
The day I drown is the day we will be wed. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 7th, 2009|07:37 am] |
i dont want anybody anymore.
i'm going to marry the ocean. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 7th, 2009|06:55 am] |
you need to figure out what the fuck you want
and come get it while i've still got it together.
but i've taught myself well,
the easiest way to learn is the hard way.
so as the highway is my only lover,
she spreads her legs wide for me
and i abide by no time
no speed is too fast for me
motherfucker. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 4th, 2009|12:16 am] |
The less sense it makes, the more I can relate to it.
I like to refer to this as flawgic. It is a philosophy commonly practiced by those under the influence of psychostimulants. A passive way of putting chaos into perspective. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 3rd, 2009|12:48 am] |
Hell will always find you no matter where you hide.
And its always easier to hide when you have something to hold on to.
The letting go is the letting in of what was hiding.
All of these patterns never change.
This is why I turn and walk away. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 2nd, 2009|04:59 am] |
Its like waking up and realizing you're on fire. I became speed queen overnight. A week ago I wouldn't have been able to even imagine staring down this box of sudafed, rubbing my jaw and convinced that I've got a secret that everyone knows and they're just not telling me. Among the finer side of the fire I could see clearly that my interest was purely casual.
Then I got a taste. I might wake up tomorrow with my teeth stuck out my cheek.
The box whispers all sorts of nagging caution and I'm lacking any sort of moral humility to give it much thought. What's done is done, and Ill be disappointed in myself when I run out. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 30th, 2009|04:46 am] |
Happiness is about finding that one moment where you can be comfortable, where you can stretch your arms and legs as far as they can go and everything you touch knows your name.
If you don't know what I'm talking about, you'll see this someday.
If you know what I'm talking about, you stopped paying attention at 'happiness'. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 30th, 2009|04:32 am] |
I'm so high I can taste god.
He tastes like the roof of my mouth
And your toothpaste. |
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| recycled originality |
[Oct. 25th, 2009|09:11 am] |
in the rays of rainlight,
the world projects a page
far from fixed or frayed:
ambience mobiles passing through unconcerned
prevent the preacher's pores from posing the question
'can i breathe in this?'
and what escapes his mouth turns to stone
leftover voices cement a path to greatness
and he paint his letters
'STOP AHEAD'
but no one's looking forward
to anything
you slice the slits in time
and get by unnoticed
flatten the wave and give it a name
human nature is your bitch to tame
i dont give a shit if it doesnt make sense.
goddamnit i'm a poet.
recognize. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 25th, 2009|03:44 am] |
if she asks me to come over I might stop by
If she asks how I'm still breathing
I might show her why
She's a lot of things
But she aint no fucking angel |
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| i love myself |
[Oct. 22nd, 2009|10:13 am] |
sometimes i just need to give myself a good laugh.
random and hilarious crazy things that have popped into my head throughout the day:
right now its you vs me doing bad things and i'm in the lead.
i need my medicine and you need to trust me.
i love it when im too drunk to even see how fast im driving.
three cops showed up at work last night and i hid in the bathroom for five minutes making sure i wiped the dried blood off my nose and i wish i was making this shit up.
dont sit so far away from me motherfucker i'll hit you in the crotch.
lol
positive notes all around, and i'm generally keeping the crazy to myself. it's a beautiful thursday, payday, which means i'm rich and playing music with the boys and drinking heavily and acting moronic in parking lots or wheerever the hell i end up and hopefully not spilling anymore damn secrets to the wrong faces. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 20th, 2009|09:09 am] |
enjoy the little things. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 19th, 2009|07:20 am] |
on my front porch smoking a cigarette this october morning
for the first time in what i can remember of my life during this time of year
i am not obligated to be on a school bus
or in my car or some building
i can just, simply,
enjoy this cold and this chair
and appreciate
the big slowdown,
the floaters in the sunrise,
(they're everywhere and
i think i might be going blind)
i breathe and i am reminded
that i can still see
the little pinkorange plane
that rose first
the early bird
climbing a sky that writhes. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 19th, 2009|04:14 am] |
need some advice?
i'm going to tell you exactly what my father told me after my second arrest in the city that saw my birth.
it's all bullshit, son. |
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| open this vent. let us air. now take it all in. |
[Oct. 18th, 2009|09:42 am] |
i think most problems are small enough to be unimportant.
i think i am a problem, but i am small, so i am unimportant.
because i am unimportant, i feel alone.
alone like a pebble kicked along some path that leads to wide-open plains and possibilities.
alone like the freedom in your very composure and the composure of anything outside or inside of you.
this is the implication of my creation,
giving identity to the isolate.
i am fine with feeling alone.
but i think my problem is
that i'm lonely.
this is all inspired by you, and my words are thick as your skull. so pay attention.
see, you and all this we've been building might be the change of my life. right about now im thinking of quitting all that bad stuff. i want to run away with you. i want to wake up and touch your face. ive quit most of the bad stuff by now, a few more bumps and i'll be good. i promise i'll be fine by you and i'll know how to make you laugh the load off.
you still call me almost every day, and i think it'd be easier if you stayed.
i mean, atleast then you wont be
wasting your minutes.
even when i know exactly where i'm going i still bump into things. |
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rosewill's journal